The Occupy Wall Street people (though from every interview I've seen with them, they have an intelligence level which doesn't qualify as "people") have released their
proposed set of demands. Let's review, shall we?
1. Restoration of the living wage by ending free trade.
Translation : Government gives everyone money by making sure no one can sell goods abroad because of punitive trade policies. Bottom line, none of us have taken an economics class.
2. Institute a single payer healthcare system.
Translation : Like we said, none of us have taken an economics class.
3. Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment.
Translation : We don't want to work. Do we really have to keep reminding you we haven't taken any economics? Add in that none of us are capable of simple logic as well. Copy and past in addendum to all other translations.
4. Free college education.
Translation : At this point we're on the verge of asking for a gift basket. Why do we need a free education when we don't have to work? See simple logic above.
5. Fast track "alternative energy" and end fossil fuels.
Translation : We already live outside and don't shower, so why would we need energy?
6. One trillion dollars in infrastructure spending now.
Translation : We saw this on a flier from the Democratic Party and it sounded smart. I'm sorry, what's that about a failed stimulus package?
7. One trillion dollars on ecologic restoration and an end to nuclear power.
Translation : I just found my parents' VHS tape copy of "The China Syndrome" and it looks scary. Plus as we said before, we already live outdoors and we need our forests to be green and dropping money on them will make them green and leafy. Made of cloth you say?
8. Racial and gender equal rights amendment.
Translation : Civil Rights Act of 1964? Never heard of it. Guess the Democrats already beat us to that one. Wait, they voted against it?
9. Open borders migration, anyone can live, travel and work anywhere.
Translation : Once we start spending all that money we're printing, we'll need to get it to Mexico somehow. Plus, it's not like we have any interest in maintaining our borders since no one wants to kill us, or kidnap us. I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean by "Mexican drug cartels".
10. Bring American elections up to international standards of paper ballots counted and recounted in front of independent observers.
Translation : If we couldn't have kept finding ballots, Al Franken would never have been able to defraud the Minnesota Senatorial election, and let's face it, he was a horrible comedian, so making him a Senator means we don't have to listen to him any more. What were we thinking about neutral observers? Well, how about the Black Panthers? They did a bang up job watching over elections in 2008, right.
11. Eliminate all existing debt.
Translation : Cause, dude, I can't afford that car note until someone starts handing me a living wage. Our magic happy wand solution will let everyone get a fresh start, then we can implement our unicorns made of gold program and puppies that pee platinum program to help everyone be able to live. No, dammit, Cisco! You still owe me that ten bucks for your mocha crappe latte!
12. Outlaw all credit reporting agencies.
Translation : Have you seen my score? It's like 185.
13. Allow workers to sign a ballot at any time during the process of unionizing to go ahead and start the union.
Translation : Well, see, I hang out at the student union a lot, and like, that place is pretty cool. So I think everyone should have to have a union. Where else are you gonna buy your books?
The proposed demands ends with a statement that "These demands will create so many jobs it will be completely impossible to fill them without an open borders policy." Apparently this was stolen from New York Times fraud economist Paul Krugman.
These people are living proof that if evolution ever existed, society has killed it off.