I Had No Idea How Much I Feared Canada

Canada, which is nearly split in half by French separatists. The French, known for their tenacious fighting spirit. The Canadians, so violently independent that they still celebrate the Queen of England's birthday. I remember being in St. John, New Brunswick, in 2003 or 2004 and hearing how Canadians were behind us militarily. Of course, there had been a hockey game and beer, so who knows. I remember being in Montreal in 2002 and the daily stories in the French language newspapers about the highly succesful sniper teams, maybe the best in the world, all apologies to our boys, who were working in the war against terror. I made many friends that I've long since forgotten in my few trips to Canada. The forgetting might be chalked up to the beer. After all, La Fin Du Monde doesn't exactly hide what it is going for at 13% alcohol by volume. But all this time, I never knew I feared Canada. I never knew I how my unreasoning spite for them drove my analysis of a health care program which the President says is not similar. I never knew I needed to apologize to the Canadian people for making them boogeymen. Thank you, Mr. President, for apologizing to yet another country on my behalf. For my ignorance and prejudice, I can only say thank God that we now have a president who thinks less of his constituents than the rest of the world, otherwise, I'd have no idea what a piece of shit I am. Thank you, President Obama, for making sure we know our place as fearmongering, ignorant bastards. We are so much less than you, who understands the transgressions we have made. Thank you for apologizing for what we didn't know we've done wrong. Thank you for not being American.